Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize