Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
Randomize
