You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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