So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Randomize
