what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
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