we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
I want to fling myself into the sun
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Randomize
