i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
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