I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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