Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
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