Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Randomize
