Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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