oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
