Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
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