Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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