well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
