My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
