You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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