someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
I'm experimenting with sincerity
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
