She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Randomize