oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize