i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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