I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
Randomize
