Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
Randomize
