im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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