Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize