I'm going to rape someone's good day.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
