so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
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I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
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He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
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