Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
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