i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
i can't believe i had my finger in that
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
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