So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Randomize
