Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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