Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
