Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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