She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
He better not be in your backpack
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Randomize
