so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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