Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
