A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
