she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
