I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
