apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
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