I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
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Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
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