She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
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