Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Randomize
