I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
