is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
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