STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
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Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
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I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
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