apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
