the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Randomize