is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
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