You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Randomize
