We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
