I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
I want you more than these girls want KFC
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize