She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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