i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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