I must be too annoying 4 u.
This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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