i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Randomize
