ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
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