I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
